there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
