I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
