But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize