At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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