Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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