She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
