i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
