I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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