No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
