it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
