I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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