I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she looked like the before picture.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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