My nipple is on Facebook.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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