I want to have your abortion
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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