I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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