I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
