Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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