so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
