this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
not ubering you a puppy
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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