she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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