so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
