You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
