The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize