So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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