real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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