spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
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