Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
