I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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