I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
