that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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