And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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