Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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