i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
