he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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