I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
