I just gift wrapped bread.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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