hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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