she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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