everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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