I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
