So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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