Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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