Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
