Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
