My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I need a beard to bite.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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