You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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