Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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