And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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