just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
