his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
