My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
