Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
