I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
