Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
bring money and cleavage
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
