Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
