Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
