I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
