i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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