the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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