I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
