Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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