Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't deserve a penis
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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