I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
