New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
